Hearing a child disclose sexual abuse is one of the most distressing moments a parent or caregiver can face. Many adults feel shocked, overwhelmed, or unsure of what to say or do next. But how you respond in those first moments can have a lasting impact on your child’s safety, emotional well-being, and healing.

Understanding the right steps to take, recognizing the signs of abuse, and know when to reach out for professional guidance, such as a child sexual abuse lawyer, can help protect your child and reassure them that they are not alone.

Darrell Cochran, a Tacoma based child sexual abuse lawyer, has decades of experience helping children and families affected by abuse, providing compassionate guidance and legal support when it’s needed most.

Staying Calm and Fully Listening To Your Child

A child who discloses sexual abuse has taken an incredibly brave step. Even if you feel angry, scared, or devastated, it is essential to remain as calm as possible.

  • Let your child speak in their own words 
  • Avoid interrupting or questioning details 
  • Do not express shock, disbelief, or anger toward the abuser in that moment

Your calm presence helps your child feel safe and believed.

Believe Your Child and Focus on Support

Children rarely lie about sexual abuse. Many delay disclosure for months or even years due to fear, confusion, or shame. When a child tells you, believing them and saying it out loud matters deeply. Simple statements like “I believe you,” “You did the right thing by telling me,” and “This is not your fault” can significantly reduce the guilt and fear children often carry after abuse.

While it may feel urgent to gather every detail, pressuring a child for information can be overwhelming or re-traumatizing. Avoid conducting your own investigation or asking “why” questions, and allow trained professionals to handle detailed interviews. Your role is not to interrogate, but to listen, reassure, and support your child.

Ensure Immediate Safety and Report the Abuse

If the abuse is ongoing or the alleged abuser still has access to your child, their safety must come first. Take immediate steps to protect them by removing contact with the suspected individual, adjusting routines if necessary, and seeking help from child protection services or law enforcement. Protecting your child is not an overreaction, it is a necessary response that shows you are taking them seriously.

Reporting sexual abuse can feel intimidating, especially when the alleged abuser is someone known or trusted. However, reporting helps protect your child and may prevent harm to others. Depending on your location, reports can be made to Child Protective Services, local law enforcement, or a mandated reporter such as a school counselor or medical provider. You do not need proof to make a report. Reasonable concern is enough.

Seek Professional Support for Your Child

Sexual abuse can affect children emotionally, behaviorally, and physically. Trauma-informed therapy can help children process what happened in a healthy, age-appropriate way.

Look for:

Early support can significantly improve long-term outcomes.

Moving Forward With Strength and Support

When a child discloses sexual abuse, it can bring overwhelming emotions for caregivers, including guilt, anger, or grief. Seeking support through counseling, support groups, or trusted individuals is not a failure it’s an essential step in staying strong for your child.

While a disclosure of abuse may change a family forever, it does not define a child’s future.With belief, protection, and the right support, children can heal and thrive; and caregivers can find strength and healing as well. If you suspect or learn that a child has been sexually abused, trust your instincts, take action, and remember: listening and believing is the first step toward safety, healing, and recovery for everyone involved.